This gave me a lot to think about. 🤍 The distinction you make between what feels comforting and what is actually supportive is incredibly important. Too often, people rush to reassure, fix, or protect instead of truly listening to what is being said.
What resonated most with me was the idea that many responses are driven by our own discomfort rather than the other person's reality. It's much easier to say, "Give it time" than to sit with someone's uncertainty and ask difficult questions. 💭
I also appreciated your distinction between hurt and harm. That's a nuance that often gets lost in conversations about honesty. Difficult truths can be painful, but avoiding them doesn't necessarily make things kinder in the long run. ✨
This piece challenged me to think more carefully about how I show up for people when they're struggling. Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful perspective. 💛
I’m glad this resonated with you! We usually have no idea we’re hurting people when we think we’re helping them. And it’s so subtle and nuanced even they don’t necessarily understand how or why it’s hurting them. But experience it enough and over time it does real harm.
I’m not sure it was social pressure as much as I thought I could do no better if I didn’t marry him. And I took my vows seriously. I left because the verbal and emotional abuse my kids and I endured got to the point I couldn’t take it anymore.
This gave me a lot to think about. 🤍 The distinction you make between what feels comforting and what is actually supportive is incredibly important. Too often, people rush to reassure, fix, or protect instead of truly listening to what is being said.
What resonated most with me was the idea that many responses are driven by our own discomfort rather than the other person's reality. It's much easier to say, "Give it time" than to sit with someone's uncertainty and ask difficult questions. 💭
I also appreciated your distinction between hurt and harm. That's a nuance that often gets lost in conversations about honesty. Difficult truths can be painful, but avoiding them doesn't necessarily make things kinder in the long run. ✨
This piece challenged me to think more carefully about how I show up for people when they're struggling. Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful perspective. 💛
I’m glad this resonated with you! We usually have no idea we’re hurting people when we think we’re helping them. And it’s so subtle and nuanced even they don’t necessarily understand how or why it’s hurting them. But experience it enough and over time it does real harm.
I've been hurt by presence of “support” systems. The irony was that it hurt more when they abandoned me. And I think they knew that.
I understand your piece 🙏🏻
That’s how I ended up in a 12 year marriage to the wrong person. You know what’s lonelier than being alone? THAT.
That really sucks. What were the social pressures that made you stay? (If you don't mind sharing)
I’m not sure it was social pressure as much as I thought I could do no better if I didn’t marry him. And I took my vows seriously. I left because the verbal and emotional abuse my kids and I endured got to the point I couldn’t take it anymore.